The Reluctant Goddess



Namir was once a simple peasant girl, content with her life and excited about her future. She looked forward to marrying and raising a family, and she even looked forward to the afterlife, when she would be reunited with her beloved parents.
But such was not to be. One day, when Namir was gathering berries, a bolt of magical energy struck her. This powerful bolt was created by Torodin himself, loosed in a savage battle against Athelstan. But it missed the god of pain and sailed far off into the sky. Falling at last to earth, it struck the helpless Namir.
The magical bolt did not kill the young girl. Instead, it changed her forever. Namir´s life force merged with the very essence of magic. The newborn goddess now was one with magic.
When Estereal learned of this accident, he came to fetch Namir and welcome her into the pantheon. But when he brought her before the assembled gods, Namir astonished them all by screaming in rage.
"I don´t want this," she said. "I don´t want to be a god. I want to live and grow old and die like the rest of my family. If I become a god, I can never see them again, and my soul will never join them in the afterlife."
"I am sorry," Estereal said with true sympathy. "You are the goddess of magic now, and, like all the gods, you will never die. You should be honored with your new station, for while the privilege bestowed upon you was not planned, it yet grants you an opportunity to wield powers that can influence and shape the world of mortals."
"Fear not, Namir," said Soltana. "We will aid you, and teach you all that you must know. We will be your family now, and you will find much love among us."
Realizing she had no choice, Namir allowed Estereal and Soltana to instruct her on the rules that governed the pantheon. But despite Soltana´s prediction, Namir did not make many friends among the other gods. She missed her family, and she soon realized that every time a mortal cast a spell, the casting pulled at her life force, causing her great pain. Namir quickly became bitter and angry, and the other gods learned to avoid her.
Feeling sorry for Namir, Wajen managed to get word of this to Torodin, who was serving his century of slavery in the Underworld. The Shadowlord felt terrible about Namir´s unhappiness, and he realized that the goddess of magic was his responsibility. Torodin sent a message to Celestian, who besides Jvelto was the Shadowlord´s closest friend among the gods. Knowing that Celestian would listen to Namir´s problem with compassion and wisdom, he asked the god of darkness, night and stars to talk to Namir and try to comfort her.
Namir was surprised when Celestian silently appeared and sat down beside her. For a long time, he said nothing, and Namir observed him with some curiosity. Celestian was amongst the most mysterious of the gods, seldom speaking of himself, except possibly to Torodin. Celestian´s appearance was striking - tall and lean, with ebony skin and midnight black eyes. Celestian´s long, white hair made for quite a contrast, but Namir decided that she liked his unusual appearance. He wore robes of deep black, but hanging from a silver chain around his neck was his symbol - a circle of seven gems that blazed like stars in the night.
Finally, Celestian spoke in his soft, soothing voice. "I have traveled far, and seen many things. But never before have I seen a goddess who railed against her fate."
Namir could not find it in her to be angry with Celestian´s rebuke. His very stillness somehow calmed her, and it would seem rude to repay his gentleness with harsh words.
"I suppose you think I am being foolish," she said quietly.
"Yes. Does that offend you?"
Namir stared at him. "No," she said, surprising herself with her answer.
Celestian smiled. "You realize it yourself. Yet you can not let go of your grief, and your anger. You must mourn your departed, and move on."
"I do not wish to forget my family."
"Mourning is not forgetting," he said gently. "It is an undoing. Every minute tie has to be untied and something permanent and valuable recovered and assimilated from the dust. There is great joy, Namir, in being what we are. Grieve for your family; allow yourself to mourn. When you have done so, come to me, and I will teach you how to find that joy."
Celestian departed as silently as he´d come. Namir thought for a long time on Celestian´s words. Perhaps because he spoke so seldom, she found there was great wisdom in what he had spoken. Finally, Namir wept for a long time, and her tears became the river that bears her name, in which it is said that any who are consumed by anguish and sorrow will find peace if they bathe in its waters.
When her grief had passed, Namir traveled to the distant star on which Celestian had built his home. She marveled at the glass palace, the floors and walls of which never blocked the god´s view of the night sky.
"This is magnificent."
Smiling, Celestian took Namir´s hand and led her on a tour of his magnificent palace. All the time, he never spoke a word.
Finally, Namir turned to him. "Thank you for your words of wisdom. But I confess I am not happy with my fate. I do not know how to be a goddess. And the magic used by the mortals causes me pain."
Celestian nodded. "I have consulted with Oghma."
"The god of knowledge? Did he have a solution?"
"Yes. You must make it more difficult for mortals to use the power of magic. Oghma has created a difficult language which only the most intelligent can learn, and which will not remain for long even in the best of minds. The mages will have to study long and hard to learn their spells, and they will find after casting a few that their knowledge is gone, so that they must rest and study again."
"That is a wonderful idea," said Namir. "My suffering will be much less. And for the smartest of the mortals, I think I can endure it. My own father was a very learned man."
Celestian nodded.
Namir looked up at him with a smile. "Thank you," she said, and kissed him softly on the cheek.
Time passed, and Namir did learn to find joy in being a goddess. She began to make friends with the other deities, especially Torodin and those who served him. But by far her closest friend was Celestian, and she went to visit him often in his glass palace. Often they would not speak at all, but simply sit quietly and watch the stars.
One day, Namir arrived to find the floors of the palace strewn with yellow rose petals. She looked in astonishment at Celestian, who kneeled before her. Smiling, he held forth a ring set with his seven precious stones. In the center of the ring was a star-shaped diamond.
"I love you, Namir. Will you be my wife?"
Namir, who had loved Celestian for some time, was overjoyed. She embraced Celestian, who slipped the ring onto her finger. Ever since, a diamond surrounded by seven colored stones has been Namir´s symbol.
Celestian did teach Namir to find great joy, and all the gods were very pleased - even Torodin, who usually avoided weddings. In honor of the happy couple, Torodin created a new constellation called the Diamond Star, which would always symbolize dreams fulfilled.